Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Cap and the Young Astronaut Program

There was a time when kids wanted to be something other than stock brokers or the creator of a popular social networking website. They wanted to be productive members of society and had encouragement from the superhero community.

Superheros used to encourage kids to excel in subjects like math and science so they could get jobs at NASA or The American Institute of Science in order to better their county and the world.

Maybe Comic publishers should bring back this AD campaign. Maybe they could have The Hulk encourage kids to join the Young Engineer Program or Batman to urge kids to sign up for the Young Scientist Program. Maybe.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Comic Intermission #2: Thor & Cap & Hulk & Daredevil & Spider-Man & Iron Man &...sell Marvel Subscriptions


The Incredible Hulk #62

The Incredible Hulk #62, Jan. '72
Written by Stan Lee and Illustrated by Herby Trimple


If you're familiar with Hulk 'Ish. #61 then you already know The Mandarin is at it again. By that I mean Stan Lee is at being racially insensitive toward our Asian friends to the east. This was 1978, Stan. 
Experts on last issue would also know that The mandarin has imprisoned the Hulk (Yeah, I know that's ridiculous) in a mass of quicksand Let's join our hero now. 


As the Mandarin will learn, trapping the Hulk never works out. You can only hope to contain him for a short while. But it's not for lack of trying. The Mandarin has contingency plans, however.

The mandarin seems to have the answer to containing the Hulk. Putting him in a glass cylinder. Clever. But wait there's more. We learn something new everyday.

And so The mandarin seems to have won for now. While Hulk dreams of smashing shit, Mandarin puts a mind control device on him. Let's hope he didn't draw sharpie penises on his face as well, for Mandarin's sake.

The Hulk wakes up groggy and teaches Mandarin's chains an important lesson. Don't be chained to the Hulk. Mandarin doesn't seem to be shitting his pants though.

Mandarin turns the Hulk into his personal fuck shit up monster and sets him loose. 

And so the Hulk goes off being his Hulk self. Is there no one who can stop the Mandarin and his Hulk slave?

Looks like it's up to S.H.I.E.L.D's own Nick Furry and his Comrade to save the day. Let the madness begin!


Never send a guy in red spandex to do a man's job. Furry does his best John Wayne impression and let's the mandarin have it. Only to be hit with the same gas the Hulk inhaled. 
The Hulk finally comes to his senses and the Mandarin will probably need a new pair of shorts in a few minutes.

I guess Tony was thinking ahead, but why was he shoving things into Furry's holster and why was Furry letting him? Also, why was he laughing. WHY!?

But then, before you forget this is a Hulk comic, the Hulk comes to send retribution Mandarin's way. 

This looks like the end for Nick Furry until the Hulk does his best Bodyguard impersonation.

The Hulk is unleashed while Nick and his comrade escape.

The Hulk finishes by being his bad-ass self.

The day is saved. Mandarin's whereabouts is unknown and the Hulk ponders his existence. A Somber ending. 


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Comic Intermission #1: Spidey and Cap Sell Ricochet Racers


Apparently in the 70s, toy companies liked to use comic books and super heroes to sell shit. Isn't that crazy? What a marvel life was before the internet. Here in all it's full color glory is a 1976 ad for something called a Ricochet Racer.

They came in Spider-Man and Captain America themes so it's fitting they would be the ones to save the day with the racers. And A reminder for the kids to buy this shitty toy at the end of the short comic. Ah, childhood.

IRON MAN #190

Iron Man #190, Jan. '84
Written By Denny O'Neil and Penciled By Luke McDonnell 

By this time Tony Stark's Iron Man suit was taken over by his friend and former US Air Force Pilot James Rhodes. Tony's drinking problem had given Tony no choice but to give up the title until he could get his alcoholism under control.

 Although not explicitly known yet, wearing the Iron Man suit calibrated for Tony was slowly driving Rhodey insane. This is at the height of his insanity yet before the suit was properly calibrated for Rhodey. The first page we see how angry and irritable Rhodey is to Tony. 

Rhody, as Iron Man, returns to Tony for some repairs to the suit after a battle with the termite. Tony starts the repairs while Rhody tells Happy and Pepper about the anti-climactic battle.

How about we discuss WHO the Termite is before we get into where he went. The Termite's real identity is unknown. He was hired by Obadiah Stane to sabotage Stark and any of his new ventures. The Termite can dissolve any material with his bare hands, THE TOUCH! The Termite was/is an artist and often sculpts with his new powers in caverns below the ground. Got it? OK. Here's the short explanation. 

 Now where the hell did he go? After the Battle with Rhodey, The Termite escaped and made his way underground as usual. He's more underground than Hipster Rollerblading Disco, so underground that Iron Man will not find him. 


Meanwhile...Rhodey is fucking pissed and he's not afraid to say so. Also, how dare Tony ask what's the problem when he already fucking knows. How redundant. AmIRight?

Oh, that...that's what he's mad about. Rhodey doesn't like the fact that Tony is building a new suit. He feels threatened. He thinks Tony is ready to become Iron Man again and he's building a new and improved armor to show off when he comes out of retirement. Rhodey bends Tony's new armor plate like it's one of those tin foil balls cats go ape-shit over, while Tony gives Rhodey some sound advice. 
But Rhodey has a better idea. Telling him that a drunk like Tony has no business telling him he needs help, while getting a little violent. Tony could probably use a drink after having his best friend man handle him and then falling on his back that way.

OK, Iron Man, isn't there an asshole dressed as a Termite your supposed to be finding?

Rhodey takes off. Happy doesn't seem to like the way Rhodey talks to his friends. Pepper doesn't think Rhodey is a rat but rather a frightened man, and Tony defends Rhodey and admits being Iron Man isn't as important to him as it is to Rhodey. 

However, there is a little future planning on Tony's part, which sets the scene for an epic battle in a latter issue. 
Rhodey discovers the 405 has a pest control problem and decides to do some exterminating. Until that asshole Harold gets himself trapped. What the fuck Iron Man has to act like a superhero in this comic, again?

Ah, there we go. Yeah, fuck off, Harold! That'll teach you to get stuck and then saved by Iron Man!


Well back to Tony who has to make a collect call to...The Avengers! You'd think a founding member of a superhero team would have a better line of communication than a touch-tone phone. Well after some catching up with Vision, Tony gets down to brass tax. He needs help.

Let's check in with old man Obadiah. Who's the chick with the face in the shadows? Why is she asking him questions like "...so your agent failed?"? I don't know. But I do know if she didn't have a nice rack, Obadiah would have stood for that shit. He's got some plans for Mr. Termite and as for the mystery woman, she has some plans for Obadiah. Yowza!

Iron Man tracks down Termite to an art gallery where he was trying to show off his latest sculpture. No one liked it so Termite had a hissy fit and Rhodey came by to show support and also beat the shit out of him. Rhodey by now is pretty fucking mad. Mad at Tony and mad at himself. So he's going to take it out on an asshole sculptor dressed as a Termite. Fair enough. 
Scarlet Witch and Tony show up to the party as well. The Avengers sent Wanda with a gun designed to neutralize mutant abilities. When they arrive, Iron Man has caused a lot of collateral damage, and Wanda's not happy. 

Tony spots Iron Man and Termite and gets one good shot off with his pop gun to end the battle and possibly Termites career as an architect.

So Tony helped Iron Man defeat Termite, but Iron Man is angry that Tony didn't let him do it on his own. Because he interfered. 

Rhodey as Iron Man walks off alone, Mad at the world. Perhaps setting up an epic battle between two iron Men. What will happen? As Stan Lee would say "Find out next 'ish!".


Blog Change-up (The Comics Are Coming!)

Hello, All! Today I'll be changing The JthenR Blog to JthenR's Comics Vault. This new blog will be dedicated entirely to comic books and comic book related media, I'll also be more active then I have been these past months. So never fear for with a great blog comes great responsibility!